Courage needed

you are "doers", and I am just a "watcher"...

two years went by, I'm still writing these junk while other people doing their stuff... I do nothing but complain... that sucks!!! I know!!

What do I need right now??? a job? working permit? green card? or a little courage for me to be motivated to make changes?... I don't have... neither of them... poor person......
I hate myself...